I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize