He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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