I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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