STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
