so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He better not be in your backpack
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
