just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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