I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he thought i was a dude.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
