I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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