I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
