I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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