i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
