Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
