I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
