why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
