so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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