i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
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i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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