Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize