Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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