SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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