i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize