well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
