I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
