We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
