I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize