Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
