The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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