Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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