it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
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My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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