Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize