I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
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Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got inside last night via doggy door
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They have beer where we have blood.
It's shark week go big or go home
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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