I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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