nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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