drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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