just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
