in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You don't make any sense
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