I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize