so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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