We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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