I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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