You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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