I wannas sexs uuuuu
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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