I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize