I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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