Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize