no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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