Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
