I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
