Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize