Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
