Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
