Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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