You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
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He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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