It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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