wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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