Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
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I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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