I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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